Sunday, October 28, 2007

Book signing, Halloween party, and other thoughts

The book signing went well yesterday. I want to thank everyone that came out, both personal friends and strangers who were interested readers of the book. I think we sold about twenty-five copies, which is a pretty good number for this kind of event (and a still new and fairly unknown writer).

My son played at a friend's house all day while I was at the signing. That family was having a get together that evening, so I went over and hung out for a while. A number of the adults played a card game called "Screw your neighbor" that was very enjoyable. I'm not a card guy -- I can play gin pretty well, but I have no idea about poker, so this card game, which was very simple and took about three minutes to learn, was perfect for me. I even won the first pot!

Woke up at 4:00 again this morning, after going to bed around midnight. I'm worried that if this doesn't correct itself soon, I'm going to have to find some sort of medication to take. I try to clear my mind when I wake up in the dead of night so I can fall back asleep, but I simply can't. I try focusing on my breathing or counting backward from 100, but nothing works. My mind obsesses over my failed relationship and everything I've lost. What is hardest for me is that, over the course of the past year, she became my best friend. I've always had close relationships with women, and this one was no different. We complimented each other perfectly, and I'm still having trouble coping with this sudden, agonizing loss. To be very honest, this has been far worse than my divorce. My marriage was slowly strangled over seven long years, so that when the end came it was almost a relief. There was pain and heartache, to be sure, but nothing like this.


May said...

I am sorry for you. Your pain is tangible, the wounds are visible, yet nothing can be done to make you feel better.

David Forbes said...

Thank you, May. I simply do not know what to do other than let time pass to heal this. It's even more disconcerting because, until two weeks ago, I can honestly say this was probably the happiest year of my adult life.

I will be better, and well, and happy again. It will just take time to get there.

May said...

People often say that time heals everything. I am not fond of that sentence because the impression it gives is that nothing makes a difference. I instead believe that sufference makes our souls grow and that new encounters are possible at all stages of life. Especially for smart, handsome and charming guys like you!

David Forbes said...

I'm not fond of that expression either, but unfortunately it is often true, when we can't find some other means of working through our pain. I certainly hope I can get through this relatively quickly!